The Smart Lemming Rules of Life and Career Management: #18 Mentor yourself via the Space-time Continuum

q-picard

I’m a huge Star Trek fan with my favorite episodes always involving the space-time continuum, where a Star Trek character goes back in time or into the future, seeing a younger or older version of his or herself.

After watching Star Trek, I realized that I could use the space-time continuum as a tool to figure out what’s going on with me at the subconscious level or when I’m not meeting my own expectations.

I typically run through the following self assessment when I’m in a state of chaos by asking some key questions.

1. What would my future self tell my present self at this moment?

I know how I want my life to unfold, but I just don’t know all of the details. I use this question to identify if I’m going in the right direction or if I’ve veered off on some tangent that’s taking me in the opposite direction or the long way to my goals.

Typically, I’m self-aware enough to keep moving forward, but I have a habit of going on tiny tangents that lead me in different directions that I didn’t intend.

For example, did I really need to marathon Star Trek Deep Space Nine? All seven seasons! Only to discover I can’t stand the actor who plays Benjamin Sisko? Yes, so I could appreciate the other actors who played Star Trek captains like Patrick Stewart’s Picard, Kate Mulgrew’s Janeway, even Scott Bakula’s Archer. Sisko creeps me out.

2. How can I get back on track? What have I done well?

When I realize I’m on a tangent, I determine why I’ve taken the course by asking more questions:

  • Why did I need to go off track?
  • Am I trying to avoid something?
  • What’s the problem?

If the tangent was a good idea after all, then I give myself credit for doing more fact finding, building up confidence or new skills, or other achieving small successes that help me get back in the right direction.

3. What more can I do?

When I’m in my problem-solving mode, I try to quickly wrap up my side trip by identifying how I can get closure on the project, returning me back on my direct route. I list tasks, action plans, or mini-projects that I need to finish before I return.

4. What would I tell myself as a child, teen, 20 or 30-something?

This is the tricky part of the space-time continuum. I know that all the mistakes and missteps I’ve made in my past have created me. I wouldn’t change any of those outcomes because I had to learn the hard way, so I won’t make the same mistake twice.

As a child, I wished I would have loved reading. I was too busy playing with my Disney toys or Barbies to sit down and read the Golden series or endless Dr. Seuss books that my parents bought for me. Today, I love books, I love my library, and I love my Kindle and iPad for reading, but I just wish I would have discovered this love as a child.

In my teens, I rested on my natural abilities rather than choosing to work my tail off to improve my skills. In fact, this remained a common theme for me until my mid-30s, when I realized I needed to proactively manage my career.

5. Am I in denial?

This tool helps me uncover if I’m in denial about something that’s lurking at my subconscious level, but hasn’t reached the surface yet. This assessment always leads to other questions that need to be solved such as:

  • Have my values have changed?
  • Have my priorities changed?
  • Am I still passionate about the same things I’ve always been passionate about?
  • What’s eating Gilbert Grape?
  • What’s eating Gilbert Grissom?

picard_in_tapestryWe are who we are

My favorite Star Trek Next Generation episode is “Tapestry,” one that doesn’t involve the space-time continuum, but an alternate reality for Picard. In this episode, Picard and the away team are attacked, resulting in Picard finding himself in the domain of Q, who says “Welcome to the afterlife, Jean-Luc. You’re dead.” Q reveals that Picard’s artificial heart is the cause of his demise.

Picard voices his regrets over his “wild youth.” Q gives Picard the chance to go back again. An older, wiser Picard in the past is overly cautious in his life and career. As a result of his risk-free, cautious approach to living, Picard finds himself as a lowly Lieutenant in the astrophysics department and meets with Riker and Troi, discovering that his career is a list of routine postings. What it just me or did Picard look weird in that blue uniform? Personally, I think he looks better in red.

Realizing how important his wild youth was in forming his present self, Picard tells Q that he prefers death as the captain of the Enterprise to the routine life as a Lieutenant. Finally, he makes peace with his regrets.

I know that I don’t regret getting stabbed by Nausicaans at Louie’s Bar in Douglas, Alaska in my early 20s!

Action Items

Mentor yourself via the space-time continuum by assessing yourself from the perspective of a younger or older version of yourself.

  • What would your future self tell your present self?
  • How can you get back on track?
  • What have you done well?
  • What more can you do?
  • What would you tell yourself as a child, teen, 20 or 30-something?
  • Are you in denial about anything?

The goal is to figure out what’s going on with you by doing a gut check if you’re on the right track. You may discover some regrets, but don’t be too hard on yourself. Instead, make peace with them.

I have lots of regrets and am not proud of some of the things in my life, but I always remember that these life events have created the “me” in this moment. Like Picard in “Tapestry,” who tells Ricker:

“There were many things in my youth that I’m not proud of… they were loose threads… untidy parts of myself that I wanted to remove. But when I pulled on one of those threads… I unraveled the tapestry of my life.”

I know I’m still going in the right direction, frequently going on tangents that veer me off course. Life would be very dull if I didn’t lose my way every now and then.

Are you on the right course? How are you doing in your own Tapestry?

_____________________

The Smart Lemming Rules of Life and Career Management series outlines my rules of personal and work success. After reflecting on my personal values, I made this list, realizing values are my rules of being or life management principles. Based on your experiences, I hope this list inspires you to identify your own rules. Here are the rules to my success that may help you over the course of your journey:

smart-lemming-pyramid-level-4

Level 1: Rules for Our Fundamental Nature

Level 2: Rules of Continuous Learning and Modeling

Level 3: Rules for the Actual Journey

Level 4: Rules of Adapting to Environment and Interacting with Others

Level 5: Rules of Humility

Level 6: Rule of Being

  • #21 Be compassionate.

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