Scenario 1: Someone Steals Your Idea, Uses Idea as Their Own
Have you ever been in the situation where your boss or someone higher up than you may have used your idea, and then used it in their own material? It happens. Some of the time, the boss or higher up does it knowingly and doesn’t care about you, your feelings, or your career. It’s called survival of the fittest and it’s ugly.

Scenario 2: It wasn’t Intentional, They’re So Sorry
However, let’s say the boss or higher up does care by realizing they accidentally used your material. They even have the self-awareness and decency to try to call you, but you’re screening your calls because you don’t want to talk with them. They leave a voicemail, apologizing for their mistake. In fact, the message you hear is one of accountability, humility, and an appreciation of your talent and contribution.

Lets assume, you listen. You hear the sincerity, but don’t acknowledge the person who left the call. You don’t bother to call back or even send an email acknowledging you heard the voicemail. What you are projecting back to the boss or higher up is that you’re angry and holding a grudge, despite their efforts to apologize to you. What’s the problem in this scenario? You.

Silence is Not Golden, It’s Career Limiting
There are times when people aren’t nice and so this response is understandable. However, there are times when a person should be open to the possibility that mistakes happen. Some people actually apologize for their mistakes, hold themselves accountable, and then does the right thing by apologizing to you. Silence is not golden. In fact, in business it’s childish, unprofessional, and self-righteous. While we often hold colleagues, bosses, and people with more power than us to a high standard, then we should hold ourselves to that standard too. Being self-righteous is career limiting because you could end up alienating yourself or shooting yourself in the foot.

Best Case Scenario Response
What should the appropriate response been in scenario 2? It could have gone down like this:

[You hear the apology and sincerity. You immediately return the call. If it’s late at night, you email. You also call first thing in the morning and say…] Hi, I just received your message. Thank you for the apology. I appreciate you understanding my discomfort [you fill in the blanks] with this situation. It sounds like we both came to the same conclusion with that idea. Again, I really appreciate you taking the time to call me.

Of course, if there’s a pattern of abuse, then that’s a different story. But, the situation I outlined was one where the offender was mortified and quickly calls to apologize for the error. Give people the benefit of a doubt by talking with them directly. Confront the person. If you do, then you’ll clear the air and get respect, demonstrating that you can’t be walked on. But always remember, some people really do have good intentions and aren’t out to hurt you. So don’t come out with both guns blazing.

Worst Case Scenario Response
Do not use someone else as a go between. Do not have your coworker or friend confront the offender for you. Have the courage to stand up for your idea by talking with the person about your issue of that person’s use of your idea or material. If you don’t, you look and you are weak.

Lets assume you didn’t return the call. And you don’t bother to email. How does this look? It looks like you’re holding a grudge. Someday, when you may need this person to do you a favor or recommend you for something. They will remember your lack of etiquette or prideful behavior. They won’t want to risk their credibility by potentially having you acting like that again. As a result, they will not be able to move you up the ladder or recommend you for a team.

Remember, we’re all connected. We have to give and take. Who knows, you may need that person who used your idea someday. They may be the critical path to your promotion or lateral move that you really want. Never burn bridges with self-righteous or prideful behaviors.

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