The second self-management strategy is to get over the things that haunt us. Is there something unsettled or haunting you from a previous job? Did you leave a job feeling angry or hurt? Were you let go and now you feel betrayed? Did you leave to go to a rebound job because you had to get out of a job, leaving unspoken or angry people in your wake? Did you leave without appreciating the fact that you were hired? That you gained more work experience? Made new connections?

Toxic? Need Closure?
Do you feel like you need closure? If you agreed with any or all of these questions, how can you get closure so the past doesn’t haunt you, keeping you from optimal performance? Can you do a little outreach through a friend to check if it’s worth it? Will an email or phone call benefit you? Has enough time passed for you?

Taking steps to get closure is important. If we don’t, this bitterness can come out when we least expect it. It can come out as a snarky comment in a conversation with our boss or peers. It can come out in how we perceive our work. We’re too sensitive in how our boss manages us. Being proactive in getting closure will make you less toxic or no longer toxic. By getting closure, you won’t let your emotions get in the way, so you’re free to move onto to your next work adventure.

Preventing Future Hauntings
How can you avoid repeating the situation? Why did this happen? How can you not repeat the same situation? Can you figure out how to leave gracefully and on good terms? Once, my job was eliminated, leaving me to feel betrayed, hurt, and angry. During the meeting where I was told about this decision, I remained professional. I asked questions to determine why I wasn’t being reassigned to another department. After learning the reasons that had to do with my salary level, I finally let it go. I stayed on during my last two weeks. However, rather than call or send an email to my former boss and president, I just left. I didn’t leave graciously. I forgot how appreciative I was when they hired me. It had been my dream job for awhile, and I had forgotten that detail during my exit. I regret not emailing or calling.

Today, I understand the business decision to eliminate by position. I would have done the same thing if I were in my former boss’ shoes. Sometimes we have to walk in the other person’s moccasins to understand things that are not in our control. As it turns out, I didn’t have to do the outreach. In fact, my former boss called me. This little act allowed me to release the hurt and anger I felt, finally giving me peace. Today, this job no longer haunts me.

Leave on Good Terms
The strategy is to get over the things that haunt us. The goal is to exit a job on gracious terms. Unfinished business can come back to haunt you. Word can get back to prospective employers. Regardless of the exit, thank your boss and coworkers for the experience. Prevent future hauntings by graciously exiting your job.

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